They play one of my favorite videos every Halloween on America’s Favorite Videos. Dressed as a scarecrow, a man sits in a rocking chair on his front porch next to a box containing trick or treat candy. As someone reaches for the candy, the costumed man jumps to his feet scaring the unsuspecting trick-or-treater. The joke worked until a large man reacted by delivering a punch that knocked the scarecrow to the floor.
The “Fight or Flight” syndrome describes how someone reacts when they are unexpectedly frightened. Taking a walk, my wife Terri and I came across a neighbor’s yard sale. The man hosting the sale told Terri he had a special memento she might be interested in. She watched as he slowly opened a box; suddenly without warning a fake squirrel sprung out. I was able to grab her arm as she was starting her swing at the guy’s nose. “Fight or Flight,” Terri’s instinct when startled is to fight.
In a survey in a magazine, respondents were asked what golf shot caused them the most fear. I expected the number one answer to be a difficult stroke: out of a sand trap, over water or an attempt out of deep rough. Surprisingly, most respondents answered “the beginning shot off of the first tee.” The first tee is usually crowded with people waiting to tee-off; the fear of failing in front of those people drove the response.
The fear of failing in front of others is responsible for what is described as one of people’s greatest terrors, the fear of public speaking. The trepidation engendered from speaking in public is not limited to addressing a large audience; it also prevents people from expressing their opinions in small meetings. How often have I heard, “I wanted to say something but I am afraid people will find my opinion to be stupid.”
Some people seek out situations that others dread. They thrive on the dream of success: a place kicker called upon to kick the winning field goal with only seconds left in the game; a political candidate addressing an audience of thousands of people; and perhaps, a fireman rushing into a burning building. Others react to challenges by either fleeing or fighting.
I am not convinced you ever truly overcome a deep-seated dread of something; I do believe you can learn to harness an anxiety and use it to drive success. By recognizing your fear you can take actions overcome it. Whatever you do—golf lessons, Toastmasters and the list could go on—those measures, will pay off in ways far beyond overcoming your fears.
Fear
“It is not a matter of being fearless. The fear is sometimes constant, but it’s about moving forward regardless of the fear. Courage means feeling the fear and doing it anyway.” -Gillian Anderson
Great post, really good read.